Woman’s psychological rights in Islam

[ابو الوليد البتار]

الحقوق النفسية للمرأة في الإسلام

Woman’s psychological rights in Islam


All praise be to Allah Alone & peace and blessings be upon His last messenger and Prophet.

Marriage was mentioned in the Qur’an as one of Allah’s signs in His universe and one of His bounties on His servants.

He says (Glory be to Him) in the Holy Qur’an:
“And among His signs, that He created for you, from your ownselves, mates that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts, verily in that are signs for those who reflect” Al-Room 21.
The Noble verse stated the goals of the marriage life that are tranquility, love and compassion, in addition to mercy between the couple.

These are all psychological, spiritual values; life becomes meaningless once it is slipped of these values. It becomes only two bodies live close to each others with separated souls. Such a life soon will collapse.

Thus some husbands mistakenly think that their duties towards their spouses are limited to spending, clothing and housing only. They ignore the fact that a woman needs the good word, the cheerful smile, the soft touch, the entertaining kess, the lovely treatment and the gentle joke that gives comfort, remove burden and guarantee a happy life.

The interpreters of the Holy Qur’an discussed the marital rights and the etiquette marriage life from the Holy Qur’an and the Sunnah (the prophetic tradition), some of these rights are: Treating the wife gently and having great tolerance towards her mistakes. Allah the Most High Says in the Holy Qur’an:
“Live with them on footing of kindness and equity” Al-Nissaa 19

Treating one’s wife kindly requires also bearing with her anger patiently, following the footsteps of the prophet (May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who’s wives used to argue with him and sometimes one them may desert him all day long.
He used to say to his wife Ayisha (May Allah be pleased with her): Indeed I know whenever you’re angry and whenever you’re pleased, she asked: how do you recognize that?, he answered: whenever you are pleased with me you swear by the Lord of Mohamed versus when you are upset you swear by the Lord of Abraham, she then said: I only desert your name.

Ibnul-Alqayyem reported that the tradition of the prophet (May the best peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) with his wives was: good manners and kind treatment, he used to send the young girls to play with Ayisha, whenever she drank he used to put his lips on the same spot she put hers and drink after her.

He (May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to rest his head in her lap and recite the qur’an.

He (May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to kiss her even while fasting, and whenever she was menstruated he would embrace her but after she would cover her lower part.

But … the virtue enemies’ sounds rise in the middle of the fever caused by the woman's rights wave pretending that Islamic principles encourage the violence against woman and the persecution against them.

So some raves then says that Islam is the enemy of the woman; decreases her dignity, insults her pride, and destroys her feeling of autonomy, treating her as animal, as a maid for his sensual pleasure or an instrument of reproduction, no more.

She is always the follower of the man who controls her in every thing, and who has all kinds of privileges. (Prof. Iman Alhallaq).

Some examples of this delirium also what came in the participants work papers in the first forum of the conference of the Arab woman summit.

Zeinab Bin Ayyad, an expert from Tunisia, says that the Arab woman should be fully aware of the necessity of getting off its closure and to express freely its desire for coping with the international changes, then she highlighted the woman's rights recognized internationally - with no exception to the Arab woman - within the international charters, with special focus on the agreement of the eradication of all distinctions forms against the women approved by the UN General Assembly on1979 (known as Copenhagen agreement) the application of such agreement should provide positive incitement to the movement of the Arab woman.

She analyzed the Arab societies harmony with the essence of the international charters in respect of their contribution, concentrating on the precautions, suspicions and with special focus on the practical application and exercise referring to many models from some Arab countries (such as Egypt, Lebanon, Morocco, Yemen, Tunisia and others) where the Arab woman enjoyed some of their rights despite the relative differences of the application measures.

She also studied what remained to be achieved until the Arab woman embraces the latest developments of this era and enjoys the rights included in the international charters that suit her interest.

And the working paper extracted some results and deductions; the most important is the necessity of the progressive approach for the elimination of all kind of precautions or reservations with the concentration on the Tunisian practices as a pioneer model in this field.

All that should be within the framework of cooperation and partnership, taking all the legislative steps for the application of the agreements texts as long as that the law is one of the change instruments.

On the other hand, in a study published by the Family Psychological Sciences magazine, the researchers found that:
The way in which the husband and wife perceive one another shows precisely the stability of the marriage as the marital relation (in the case of the happy husbands) depends on the way of dealing with each other.

The experts concluded a number of ideas that give a glance at the future of marital life, such as the use of WE instead of I when talking about the future plans from both, the husband and the wife.

Also, each of them should mention the other party with appreciation and they should also give the others an impression that they are proud of their relationship and their marriage besides matching the viewpoints and the reinforcement of each other’s viewpoints during any conversation or discussion.

The researchers see that the spouses should commemorate the date of their first meeting and try to remember the details of that happy day during which they were unified.
They should not deal in a passive way with their life difficulties, they should remain always optimistic and positive (The network of the Morocco gate’s lighthouse).

Most probably the psychological tensions show up when the distance between them becomes big miles and when the gap that separates between them becomes deep to the extent that one don’t see nor hear the other …Why?

The answer is simply because, on the psychological level, each one of them has canceled the other
And this is the initial pillar created by the independence from the man using the distinction elimination agreement, so that they become equal...
That means that each of them has turned to be a zero in the other’s perception.
This is the only beginning...
Because, if the marriage was the peak of feeling each others, his collapse is at the moment when we stop to feel each others...
And …, indeed, that is the complete collapse of the proper meaning of the cordiality, dwelling and mercy between them.

Dr. Adel Sadeq confirms that there is some people who are, psychologically, not ready for the marriage because they do not possess the factors that help them dissolve in another human being or bearing his (her) care responsibility and exchanging of tenderness and cordiality with him (her).

This is the kind of individuals formed or created by the agreement of the eradication of all distinction forms, consequently the man and the woman become two counterparts... two contradictory not two integrated souls.

The framework of the distinction elimination agreement is based on the false assumption that the man or the woman, each one of them is perfect; therefore one can live and do well without the other.

The ultimate truth which can not be denied is that a man has a dryness and emotional needs that only woman can satisfy, in the same time, the woman needs the man to take the life pressures away from her, to undertake the responsibility of providing her with better life conditions and to protect her from the daily tensions so that she gets the sentimental and living stability.

We were told by the Prophet of Guidance (May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) that both man and woman have faire and equal rights, but also, each of them has some privileges that the other doesn’t have.

The man is privileged by being given the guardianship and the right of the family administration, while the woman is privileged by having superior position before their sons and daughters, as the All-Mighty Allah ordered every body to obey his mother and to be good to her, to treat her with great care and sympathy.

The woman is tranquility and mercy, she is the best of the world’s pleasure, and she is to be always served, protected and taken care of.

While the greatest pleasure in the hereafter is the luxury in the highest Paradise which is the expensive valuable commodity of Allah, the greatest pleasure in this world is the righteous pious woman. And who ever got such woman he has got the dearest treasure.
And … to encourage men to take care of girls … said our prophet (May the best peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) that the charity to the girls will be rewarded from Allah in the hereafter, those girls will be for him as shelter from the hellfire.

Abi Shoraih Khowailed Bin Amr Al-Khozaie (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet (May the best peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said : (oh Allah I forbid the violation of the weak, orphan and woman’s rights) narrated by Al-Nissaee with good attribution, Ahmed 2 / 439, and Ibn Majah 3678 of Abi Huraira 's Hadith (prophetic saying).

The use of the good selected words with the wives was mentioned frankly in the Hadith (prophetic saying) of our beloved Messenger (May the best peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) He said: (Never use bad words) … this Hadith is an important indication of the good care taken by the Islam towards the woman. The Prophet (May the best peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said: be advised concerning women, fear Allah regarding them, for they are your assistants.

Allah (Glory be to Him) also said in the Holy Quraan:
“if they obeyed, seek not against them means of annoyance, for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all)” Al-Nissaa 34.

Al-Nawawi, Al-Hafez and others said in the explanation of this verse: you do not behave in a way that annoys, bothers or hurts them.

O’ my beloved sisters… the daughters of the noblest and highest religion … you are indeed enjoying the superior rank in Islam..

You are perceived as the sun that enlightens our life, as the planets up high in the sky... do not leave this peak.

You were prepared to undertake a great task O dear, you are the pride of your nation.
Pay great attention to the ways of the debauchery people and purify your chest from their sins.

O dear…, they are attacking your eminence using the soft and dangerous weapon of the said liberation and progress. The real description is the mess and disorder.
O the spring breeze…, they want you to be an easy target in the hand of each adulterer, drunk and libertine.

As soon as one of them takes what he want and fulfill his low desires, he then turns to another woman looking for more.

O the star of the chaste purity, they want you ... they want to spoil your honor and dignity.
Liberate yourself from their sins and refuse their essays by saying:
"Allah forbid! truly He is my Lord! Who made my sojourn agreeable! truly to no good come those who do wrong!" youssuf 23.

O Allah, … the Lord of the universe, the God of all the creatures keep our Muslim girls and women safe from any harm and grant them with your assurance, safety and compassion.

O’ Allah use us in support of Your noble religion, Your glorious Book, and the Sunnah (prophetic tradition) of Your Beloved Messenger and Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and make us from those who are upon guidance! Amen.

O’ Allah, may your best blessings and peace be upon Mohamed and all the prophets & messengers.

All praise be to Allah, the Lord of the universe

And … Allah is the source of all sincerity.

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WomanMs psychological rights in Islam

[محمد نصر]

thank yuo my brotherABOALWALEED